I need a legal help/advice on a prenup?

Question:

i just became engaged.i'm 33 never been married or have children,worked all my life at a good job.i have multible stocks,bonds,and savings accounts that = over 100k.my bf is divorced with a child a huge debt(30k) from his exwife with no other savings.he is a very "devoted" dad(what his son whats, his son gets) and has already told me his son is his 1st priority and he will never love me as much as his son.now add a very controling,money loving exwife to the picture that guilts my bf into giving her anything she wants.he already gave her more money/personal property than the courts ordered and continues to do so.i have played with the idea of a prenup with my bf but hes not for. its a trust thing he said.if i pushed it he might do it but it would damage our relationship.i love my bf and he loves me but i will allways be second to his son and if push came to shove i don't know what would happen.what can i do to protect my money other than a prenup?

Answer:
This situation SCREAMS for counseling.

Premarital counseling for you as a couple.
Financial counseling for you as an individual.
Legal counseling for you as an individual.

I can see where you'd be a bit irked that he's going above and beyond his obligations, and where you sense that he feels your earnings are there to pick up the slack.

Don't let him go any deeper into debt ... say, by buying a ring ... until you get counseling. Lots.

it isnt a trust thing its a helping yourself thing. i love my fiance more than anything and i trust him and he trusts me but we are still signing a prenup because we both want to make sure our assets are covered.

If he is still giving his EX money, he did something wrong or has no -back bone. I would test the waters a little longer. On the plus side if he has custody of the kids then she is the bad seed and you need to keep him away from her. Is the boy spoiled, then he has no back bone. There is only two reasons why women Need men in this world. Sperm and that felling of security.

I think that if he wont go for the prenup, then dont go for him. Dump the loser that seems to be still married to his ex. I can understand your being 2nd to his son, but i think you are really 3rd to his ex. Think about.

You truly cannot marry someone who is so financially different than you...while that $30K debt is "his"...you will soon find yourself supporting "his" lifestyle as well as making his child support payments/debt payments when he falls short..

Further, the love of for a child and a significant other are TWO different things..if he said that to you...he's saying that he's looking for someone to help support him in his efforts to cherish his child..not a partner...and frankly a very immature statment all the way around.

If you live in a community property state...you need more than a prenup..you need individual legal counsel to protect yourself in the long haul..all your investments will continue to grow and the value on the date of marriage vs. the value on the date of separation...you'll be paying him some big bucks...

While he may be divorced from his ex-wife...he certainly hasn't ended the relationship...you really want to marry his ex-wife too?? cuz that's what'll happen.

No other way to protect except pre-nup. Yes, it is a trust thing and I generally am against them. But in your case with your assets and his extreme debt and debt potential, go see a lawyer and get it done.

I'd seriously think again about getting married to this man. Do you really want to spend the rest of your life being 3rd in his life behind the son and ex-wife? That will get very old very fast.

Plus, if he gives his precious son everything he wants, how soon will he run through your money after you get married?

You had better get counselling before it's too late.

I need a legal help/advice on a prenup?

Hot Topic