Please help was i wrong to turn down my bf of 4yrs when he asked me to pay off his debt of 25k?
Question:
Answer:
Nope..
You were not wrong..
You might have considered it after marriage..
Not before...
NO
You did the right thing. Keep walking and don't look back. This guy is a leech that will suck you dry.
Yes, i think it is wrong of him to ask such a big favor from you. You are right he would probobly just run up more bills and help the ex. etc..is this man someone you really want to be with given his past history with women?? tell him you are sorry but no you will not help him.
NO, don't pay his debt. Everything caused by him long before you and him are one item. You are not responsible for his past mistakes just because you're with him today.
NO ! Do not pay off his debts. Mean sounding or not, they are HIS debts that he created on his own. You should not bail him out financially but be aware that him having a bad credit score will affect your future together after marriage.
Sounds like he made a whole heap of poor choices! You are not responsible for them. Sounds like you should really consider protecting your assets also. No joint anything. He maybe a perfectly nice guy, but you don't want to set yourself up to be cleaned out.
Blended family issues are quite messy, especially in the financial department. I know, I live it daily. That is why I tell you to protect you. I did not. I wish I had.
Good luck!
Your not wrong, It was his problem before you not after, he needs to just deal with it and you can only be there for mental support.Take care of yourself first remember your not married yet, and only together for 4yrs.Everyone makes mistakes yes but how will we learn if we didn't clean it up ourselves?Don't worry you did the right thing and he should except how you feel.
Good grief woman! I'm sure you are emotionally attached to this issue but read your own question, the answer is glaring to me. This guy does not have a good track record so you must stay clear of his havoc. If he doesn't value his time with you for basic human companionship reasons then move on without him. You would be wise to protect more than just your money in my opinion.
It is not your job to pay for his mistakes and he needs to realize that. I am getting married in 9 months and my bf just old me he has 14,000.00 worth of credit card dept and I'm pissed that he wasted all this money now he wants me to pay for it and I am not and you shouldn't either
Finally, Some one with a BRAIN!!!! Who's to say that if you gave him the money he wouldn't disappear? Might I suggest,that you wait until he has this debt paid-off before you marry him. He will still get your money. He has shown himself as a cheater,too! He did cause his own trouble. " You get yourself in...You get yourself out!" Good luck.
I hope this guy won't ruin your credit once you marry. It's going to be difficult to buy a home and get car loans if he isn't on board with this financial stuff. Check into it. Also, check into what/if he owes the IRS. I'm concerned he's giving you a guilt trip already. Is he really worth it?
you are so smart girl!! why should you pay his debts; you're not selfish; you are smart.!! and you're right; when you say he will have extra money to give it to his ex- or children; that is exactly what he wants ;If i were you i keep walking.
be even smarter and get someone with a lighter load. good luck
No you are not wrong and Thank God you got out while you did! NEVER let the next one know what you have and what you don't finacially! Don't feel bad for this joker either if he still feels guilty after this lobg then what chance did you and he really ever have? Not to mention once a cheater always a cheater - yes some of them change but this guy hasn't yet, mark my words!
You made the right decision don't feel bad at all!
I can't believe he even asked you to help. I wouldn't even marry him. yuck! I'd get out of there.
You're not wrong for turn him down for that. He need to pay for his mistake. I kind of learn the hard way and told him that he better start spending money wisely or else he would only hurt himself. He would beg for money from me and others... so please don't pay for his mistakes and believe me best off if he just take his own responsible.
oh my god!! do you realize what your asking? Your contemplating paying for your FIANCE cheating on his WIFE. Im usually very compassionate and understanding but you would be STUPID to marry this man.
No you are not wrong. He should of been straight up with you before you got engaged, then maybe you two could of worked something out, but not two weeks after you became engaged.
Maybe he became engaged and not told you about it. Sounds like he might of known you had the money to pay her off. what does he do? I wouldn't give her a penny. That is between him and her. You didn't make the debt. He shouldn't even considered you in paying that. You don't pay for someone Else's mistakes, or they will learn nothing.
SURE DO IT FOR LOVE,,,,I HAVE A bridge to sell you,its in Brooklyn, cheap 25,000..he is full of my name
I don't think it was a matter of wrong or right. You obviously don't love this man enough to help him out, whatever his needs are. I doubt he wanted your help to free up money to give to his ex. I think it would've been smart if the two of you had tried together to get rid of most of both of your debts, before you got married. Once you were married, you could get together on the finances, and make sure that not an extra penny will go to his ex, above child support. He is not obligated to pay the daycare cost, unless he wants to, and I think any money towards the kids needs is fine, but nothing to towards the ex. This was something that would've easily been worked out, if you indeed loved him enough to work it out. You will go through life with bigger problems than a 25k debt, will you turn your back on him when it's inconvenient for you? If so, don't get married.
You are smart to not pay off his debts. He made them and they are his responsibilities. You'd be smart to not marry him, he's showing you what he expects you to do as far as money is concerned.
Ask him to pay off yours.Or add it to his.
This guy cheats and mooches? Run away fast!
Oh PLEASE! PLEASE! PLEASE! don't make this terrible mistake.
I had the same thing happen to me, and i'm so glad i ended the realtionship. My X-bf also left his wife for another woman (not me)
and had a $43.000 debt he asked me to help him pay.
His wasn't from child support/allomony or anything like that.
His was from attorney fees and court costs with all the fighting and bickering that went on between them.
What I'm saying is this, If your fiance' was 'truly' in love with you,
and had respect and honored you, he would 'NEVER' ask you to pay his debts, no matter how he got them..
It's another thing if you WANT to help him, but you are certainly 'NOT' obligated to.
This to me, is a bad sign for your future with this man.
And how on earth do you know you can trust him??
He's already 'Cheated on" one wife, left another woman and now trying to 'USE you'..
There's no way I'd trust a man that cheated on a wife before.
Once they've tasted that kind of freedom it will always be lurking in the shadows..
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