Please help was i wrong to turn down my bf of 4yrs when he asked me to pay off his debt of 25k?
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Think about what you asked again and then I bet you can answer your own question.Also..keep in mind that what he has done to women in his past..he will surely do to you.Count your losses and walk away now.
[of course you >shouldn't< have paid his debt.]
Anyone who leaves a kid is pathetic.
Break off the wedding and give him back the ring.
He can use that to help pay off his debt.
I think you were right to say No to your boyfriend
This guy is immature and an idiot. I don't know why you're even CONSIDERING marrying him! You don't have an obligation to pay down any of his debt, but you might if you marry him. If he still feels guilty for cheating on his ex-wife, then he still has feelings for her. The guy is scum. Dump him and run... fast!
leave him, and see me, I have well over 250K in debt..sweetie.
The debt is his responsibility. He will respect you more if he is the one that has to work his butt off to get out of debt. Save your money wisely as you have. If you marry this guy, you may need money if he continues to act irresponsibly. I do hope he is responsible with his money now and also is a responsible loving father. Just remember that what he has done to his previous family, he might do to you. If you marry this man, and you want children with him...be very observant to how much he cares for his child that he already has. Not just money...but his time, love, energies and affection. Good luck to you. Stick to your guns. You were not wrong.
The guy's a loser and you will be too
No, you were not wrong to not pay off his debt. It is HIS debt not yours.
Aaaaccckkkkk! Run, Missy, run! Seriously. This guy will always be "down under", whether it is financially, emotionally, whatever. He puts himself there, don't you see that? He did it with his ex, now he wants the same from you. Do NOT give this man anything but the engagement ring back. He has issues that you cannot fix.
He caused this problem, he should have to pay for it himself. If he thinks your being selfish just tell him your sorry but you can't be held responsible for what he did in the past.
offer to pay a little bit of the debt so your guilt won't come back and you still have some money left for yourself.
Well once you become married if you share bank accounts and finances his debt may become your debt. This is something you need to discuss before getting married. I wouldn't pay a penny towards it.
Run away from this person...( I'd call him a man, but he isn't one.) As fast and as far as you can. Keep your money, and your self respect. Find someone who IS a man and will love you and not your money...
The fact that you are asking the question tells me your gut says it's wrong. Nevrer pay off someone else's debt. It's called responsibiliy. He needs to find some before you take care of it all. Plus you clear up all his debt and get married guess who will paying all the new debt her husband racks up? You the the wife, Not having financial freedom will create fustration and adventually resentment. I say don't pay the debt and based on his record just be a girlfriend and not the second ex wife who can't get a loan, a credit card cuz her ex husband fooled her.
Plus he feels guilty, the ex feel guilty...why in the heck would you feel guilty? You didn't spill the milk...so don't clean it up. If he can't handle that..honey, love yourself more than you think you love him and scram!
I don't think it matters how long you have known someone he/she should never ask another to pay for his/her own mistakes. Please do yourself a favor - think long and hard about continuing your relationship with him. Why would a hardworking, level headed person like you want to hang around with him.
From a old lady that went thru this same mess for 27ys-it never goes away! When the ex quits then the kids start and nothing is worse than hearing a 23yr old girl saying you owe me this 30k wedding! But I loved my late husband with all my heart he was my soul mate - so I put up with it. If I was you I would not give him a penny and if you do marry Keep you own identity - aka your ck'ing acct, cc's etc. in your name (it saved me-only because she kept suing for more money and she could not touch anything in my name and she tried because I had a trust fund-I learned the hard way) You are not selfish because if he walks away because you did not give him your money - then you know what he was after. But if he takes care of it himself - then you can be proud of him! Wow, I didn't mean to go on and on, but I just wish that I had someone to tell me the in and outs when I was young! Good Luck! and if you need more details just ask.
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