As a college junior, would you give up your dorm room, move in with girl/boyfriend, & give up your freedom?

Question:

Our son is an upcoming junior in college, who has recently moved out of his dorm room and in with his girlfriend. They say they don't have plans to marry. Trouble is, it is HER apartment, paid for by her parents. My son now pays half of everything, yet has no place to go should they part ways and we live two hours away, so too far for him to commute.

Do you think this is wise? I am encouraging him to retain a dorm room, even if he rarely ever uses it. As I see it, the odds are all in her favor.

Did I mention that we DON'T like her? She is very different from us, not that that is necessarily a bad thing. It just worries us that two people from such vastly different backgrounds might eventually clash, which would leave our son out in the cold, so to speak, with no home at college.

We are not asking that he end the relationship.

I am especially interested in hearing from college students in this same age group of 20-22 or so.

Answer:
He probably would have been better off staying in the dorm. I say this for a few reasons:
1. If he breaks up with his girlfriend then he will have trouble finding a place to live.
2. Living in an apartment while at school brings a lot more stress than living in a dorm because you have to worry about a lot of things that the school would take care of.
3. It will be farther from campus which brings up the issue of transportation.

Before I answer the question - i need more information. How different is she from you? I understand you are being a caring and 'worried' parent but please provide more info (as much as possible without it getting personal)

I think that he should have stayed in the dorm room. Even though they say love make you do some strange things. You never really know a person till you live together and after that anything is possible. I actually just kicked my bf out. Well not kicked him out but we aren't and won't get along so we decided to part ways. But if they aren't planning on marriage then I think it's always best to live separately. I guess this is one of those things that will have to be learned the hard way.

Been through similar with my step daughter.

I would not say anything about the relationship with the girl as saying anything about their relationship will be seen as nosy interfering parents.

You are right, this could end badly for him, but he probably won't listen to you right now.

You do have a right to tell him that if you are paying for college you will only keep paying if he keeps his grades up and stays in touch with his guy friends & has a back-up place to stay in case he & his girl friend fight.

As a college junior, would you give up your dorm room, move in with girl/boyfriend, & give up your freedom?

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