Alimony for lazy college educated women?


Question:
I can't believe the state of the NC courts. My husband's ex wife gets a buttload of support and alimony. She is a college educated teacher living in a county desperate for teachers.
Yet she "works" at a pre-school in a church 4 days a week for only a few hours a day and can't understand why she has trouble paying for the $200K+ house she had to have.
Do not misunderstand me, I give a rats behind about a huge house, and I like where I live - we have totally different priorities.
What irks me is her whining to the kids that they are doing without because "daddy doesn't give me enough money"
What utter B.S. Its more that they do without because she won't get off her Oprah watching lard butt to work for all the expensive stuff she just HAD to have!
Hell, her lack of contributing to the finances is part of why her marraige ended anyway!
Grrrrrr.. this sound right to any of you??
(My husband works upward of 50 hours a week and I work full time too)

Answer:
I don't believe a person deserves alimony if he or she is capable of working and has not over the marriage, especially if she filed for a stupid reason like being unhappy when she didn't put forth an effort to work on the marriage she chose to be in. There are too many sign on bonus for teachers in just about every state. The courts should have allowed her alimony for a few months (maybe six) and required her to get a job. To me alimony is like getting paid for being married to someone you chose to be with...On the other hand, I do agree that men who abuse their wives and kept them from getting a job, going to school or controlling their every move, I think they should have to pay out the butt.well hate he is going through this, but eventually the alimony will come to an end...wish him luck...
Wow!

Not only did I NOT seek alimony, my ex owes me over 20K in child support..that REALLY sucks!
If she was being financially supported before the marriage, and she was working a similar job to the one she has now, and the marriage was not dissolved due to her fault, then she deserves to be supported in the same way as before the divorce. She should not have to change her career goals and life just to make her ex-husband's life better. Also, even if she was working full-time before, she now has to take care of kids independently, and thus can reasonably be expected to need to work less hours.
It sadly sounds pretty typical.
Too man y people think that life is a fairy tale and think they should have to work to get what they want.
The only parts I find really awful are the parts in which she is bad mouthing the kid's father to their face. That is in very poor taste. When the kids get a little older, perhaps she should be more motivated to support herself and her life style, but it sound to me like she's caught up in a spiteful rut right now.she'll end up bitter and unhappy, I just hope the kids manage despite her lack of motivation and her cruddy attitude.
I can see why you're frustrated! I'm from NC and actually took a Family Law class in college where my professor was a Judge about 1 year ago. Child support is what it is and is determined at the time of divorce to maintain the lifestyle that the children have grown accustomed too and based on the earnings of both parents. Grounds for alimony is determined by a jury, and for whatever reason, the jury decided that alimony was in order. Not every woman in NC gets alimony. That aside...I am also a mom of 2 young children and work in a church preschool and it's not an easy job either. I took that low paying job so I could take the kids to work with me and still go to school full time. When I come home, I wish I could watch Oprah, but do that maybe once every few weeks. My husband and I have sacrificed to live in a smaller house, in not such a great neighborhood til I can finish school and our kids are both old enough for public school. So I must say, that I'm actually quite jealous of your husbands ex...sounds like she needs to grow up and stop whining. The biggest problem is that she complains to the children. That is not a motherly or christian thing to do and she needs to think about how her words and behaviour affect them. She's forcing them to choose, and that's not healthy at any age!
My suggestion is to speak to an attorney to see if it would be possible to return to court to modify alimony/ child support. There are certain cases where that is possible. If she can and is able to work yet chooses to take the lower paying job despite her education and abilities, it may be possible to seek one. Hope this helps!
Just my opinion but in today's world if the marriage doesn't work FINE! BUT the divorce should split all assets and all debt in half and then NO SUPPORT either way 50/50 the day it ends and nothing for the future!

SAME WITH THE KIDS, heck with all this custody and child support the kids should be with mother one week and father the next and each should pay for the expenses their weeks!

Just my opinion but I have seen this work the best in my friends that are divorced with kids!
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