Ex-Husband has stopped paying for medical bills and sports extras.?
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Answer:
Sorry,
I was in the same situation. He doesn't have to pay for sports, the only way you can probably make that happen is to play hard ball. If he won't pay, then the kids don't do it. Put the responsibility for his actions in HIS LAP. Just tell the kids that you can't afford it unless dad pays for half, and unless he pays, don't do it. Don't fight with your ex over it. Just shame him into doing the right thing...:-)
Medical Bills are another issue. Look at your divorce decree. Typically any medical bills\copays etc that are outside of the normal medical insurance premiums are split 50\50. In my case I can turn the bills over to a collection agency if needed to get the issue resolved.
If he won't pay, then nicely explain to him that you are going to go back to court and ask for an increase in support and a 50\50 split on insurance premiums. Don't fight with him about this. Just have your attorney contact his attorney and tell them that you are going to get the ball rolling..
Good luck.
go back to court.
Take him back to court and get him for whatever you can I can guarantee it will be more than 375 per month for two children
You are right - out with the old, in with the new.
It shouldn't be that way, but the fact is that the new woman calls the shots and giving money to you is a no-no. That goes for her own nest and offspring now.
You can fight for it, but it will be an uphill battle all the way. Is the headache worth it to you?
I would get an attorney and have them evaluate the support. If he isn't paying anything else voluntarily than he needs to be paying a reasonable child support.
If he can't support the children emotionally, than he needs to financially. He can't expect you to do all that as a single mother on $375.
Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but the NEW baby is just as much his as the ones he had with you.also sounds like your kids are quite older..once they turn 18, thats it..
Not trying to sound like a jerk, but think about it...why should the new baby be thought of as "Less than his"? Because he didn't have them with YOU??
By the way, the courts are NOT going to consider these little sports extras as neccesary. YOU choose to put your kids in things you cannot afford.
Unfortuntley, if you do not have this little 50/50 agreement on paper, it will not hold weight in court, and he is only responsible for the amount that the court ordered...not one penny more.
Ouch!! My sister's boyfriend is in the middle of his divorce and they are working out the child support deal. I think they are gonna settle on $800 a month for two children. Sounds to me like he isn't giving you enough for child support. I don't know how it works but is there any way you can take him back to court and demand more money? Kids are expensive and you shouldn't have to take care of them by yourself. It is not your kids' fault that their dad is going to have a new baby. They still deserve the same treatment.
Consider yourself lucky. I only get $86 in child support with no help. My son is in college and he refuses to pay anything.
That really stinks...My ex was like that when he was with his second wife...she was a total b*tch...to put it mildly...I could go on and on about that one...
They ended up getting a divorce and now he is good about it.. Can you talk to him w/o her around?? See what's up?? He might be more open if it is just one on one and you can get to the bottom of it...otherwise, w/o a court order, you don't really have a choice but to live w/ his cheap behavior...
***why don't these guys realize that it is about the kids, not the wives??!! It is hurting their children more than anything...
grrrr...
Hire a lawyer and go back to court. You have a duty to fight for your children's right to live the same way they would as if you and you ex. didn't split up. Some of these "brilliant" men can't figure out it's the kids that always do without when they, the dads, become the a**holes!
Keep taking him back to court. Keep all receipts from when you spend for the kids. Take them all into court and this will help you. If he has an order to pay support and does not the court can find him in contempt and put him in jail. Was it in your divorce decree or support documents that he agreed to pay for things up and above child support? I sure hope so because that will give you more leaverage in court. The girlfriend could have something to do with it because she wants the money for them and their baby but him as a father should tell her hey these are my kids and I want to help them too. Good luck
Speak to him and ask him why he hasn't been reimbursing you and that he must make arrangements to do so. Keep records of everything you request from him and keep a running total. If this arrangement is court-ordered, you can go back to court and collect the money that way if he refuses to make payment arrangements.
Unfortunately he is not required to pay for anything above child support. I would see about getting an increase in your child support and making him more responsible for the medical insurance. He does not realize that the only ones who will get hurt in all of this is the kids.
You blame the girlfriend for this change of heart, but then mention that this started right after the support hearing (and garnishment?). Maybe he's feeling bitter about that. Or, maybe it's a combination of the two.
Either way, whining and blaming aren't going to solve this.
Have you asked him "Hey, we used to do it this way and now you're not doing what you used to do, what's up with that?" Maybe he feels like you played dirty and not too nice with the garnishment (although, you did what you had to do - that's understandable) and has decided that if you're not going to be flexible & understanding, neither is he. It's a pretty childish way of dealing with things, but, again, understandable.
If the support order doesn't require that extra 50% of sports/medical expenses, you don't really have a leg to stand on legally. You can try talking it out with him. But, if he doesn't want to play nice anymore, your only other choice is to deal with it with dignity, civility and grace, for your children's sake.
Figure out the new reality & move on with it. Reassess your budget, start putting limits on extracurriculars, maybe get a part-time job, whatever you need to do, given the reality of your situation, to parent your kids effectively & give them the best that you can.
I understand where you are coming from, but you are sounding a bit bitter about the fact that he has moved on to a new relationship with someone else.
You know full well how much a new child can cost. If you were really trying to keep it friendly, you would attempt to cut this guy a bit of slack, and allow him some room to get the things he needs for the new baby.
You say that your kids are 14 and 12. Why is it that they are not able to get some small job and help pay for some of these expenses? No, I do not think Dad should abandon them, and I don't think that is what he has done here. But I do think that it would not hurt those kids one bit to have to contribute to some of these activities. They are definitely old enough to start earning a bit of their own cash. And I am not talking about doing chores around the house either. Every kid comes to a point in their young life where they could learn the value of a buck. Girls could babysit, boys could mow lawns -- either of them could do a newspaper route. No kid is too good to have a small job that allows them to get a taste of money managing. It would do them some good.
So, in all reality, you need to chill for a bit. This guy is NOT writing off his children with you. He is focusing on the new baby, and you need to learn to cope with that. He has committed no crime, by any means.
Be a little more supportive. You talk about how you want to keep it friendly, but you whine about him not giving you all the money that he once did. Give him a break. I know your kids deserve it, but money only goes so far.
Think about the job option for the kids. It wouldn't hurt them at all.
You sound like a very reasonable woman. I pay $525/ month on one kid plus I carry the medical and get stuck with most of the copays.
I think I see what happened...you say your ex quit paying for extras AFTER you took him to collection. It might be possible that he's resentful for you taking him back to court. I think you are being more than fair to let him get off paying only $375 for two kids. Maybe he is not legally obliged to pay more, but I think you might want to show him what a typical child support bill looks like then tell him he can do it one of two ways...either help out willingly or you will have his CS adjusted upwards. I'm not a big fan of the CS system in general but when someone is being fair about it and the NCP still won't appreciate it, maybe it's time to use the system to push things along.
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