Am I wrong to not want to pay for college for our kids?
Answer:
College is too imporant to be left up to a fickle mind. College was paid for by my parents, and if they had not, - I probably would not have gone. But back then, student loans were not so prevelant, - and I still had a job to pay for beer, books and gas.
Going to college can easily add 15% or 200% to a person's earning income for the rest of their life. -That aspect can be a factor in YOUR future security.
And besides, -having kids take care of you is not really a bad thing. It's a built-in feature of families that they take care of their own. A 'new' American concept is that the govn't or a lot money can 'solve' that. But by your kids taking care of you, - then it's an example to YOUR grand-kids, that that should take care of their parents... and what's wrong with that?
I agree with you. Time to cut the apron strings and let them fend for themselves.
Your right. My mother made me do it all on my own. It made me grow up, and im happy she did it.
no
If they want a degree, let them earn it. Help, but don't burden yourself doing it.
Well I am a senior in high school and there alot of friends of mine that have to pay for their own college. Fortantually my parents are paying for my education, but as a student they have pushed me hard to get many scholarships and I'm going to be attending a college that costs 16800 for 3100. So if you decided to not pay for them its not a big deal you arent the only parent doing it, but you should be there for them if they need you.
My children studied hard and got partial scholarships. We did help. Every parent has their own ideas about this isssue,
don know
sounds like u r a dirtbag parent. your obligations end when they graduate. reality check. your future is seeing them graduate.
My son graduated two years ago with a degree that he EARNED...not only the sheepskin, but the money to pay for it. He worked while going to school, stayed on the dean's list, and excelled. Let your kids do it for themselves...they will appreciate it more!
Help them out as best you can. But they need to help themselves too. They need to learn to make their way in this world but they also need a guiding hand from the parents.
I guess my opinion could go 2 ways, if by paying for college would cause you hardship then i would say no dont do it.You still have a life to live and you should not have to do it struggling, you have already raised your kids, not it is your time in life.They should be able to get student loans to pay for college and then they can pay it back.But then i think if you have lots of money what is the harm to pay for it, but make them do things for you to pay it back .
I definitely think it is a good idea if your kids pay for their own college it will teach them responsibility and they will work harder in school if they are paying for it. My parents make over $100,000 a year and they made me and my brother pay for our own school and we both graduated. It was tough for me because I had to work full time and go to school full time but that helped me prioritize my time so in the long run it helped me with time management.
I agree with you mostly.
My parents paid a couple of thousand of my tuition and the rest was mine to bear. I put myself through grad school entirely. I STILL have student loans at age 33 and don't begrudge them one bit.
My wife and I are better off then our parents were. Although she says otherwise, when it comes down to it, my wife is going to want to pay for our kids college entirely, I am sure of it. She is too much of a softee.
you should pay for their college if you have enough money.
My opinion is that your kids should have sence of gratitude and take care about you when you get older and to receive the heritage only with contract for taking care.
I am the only son of my mother but I insist that after I will take care about her I will deserve the money from her property.
I personally received a small amount of money from my parents that they had been saving to get started. My dad also took out loans for me, but I had to pay them all back. Yes, I got insurance, groceries, etc, as long as, I was in college. I firmly believe that a good education is worth student loans. I did it and paid them back, it teaches good skills for life.
The majority of the families do pay for their children's first four years of college, it is the studies after the acquisition of the Bachelor's degree (studies for a Master degree) that are paid by the children, mostly in the form of a loan that they get.
No you are not wrong...the kids can work summer jobs, get student loans, apply for grants, etc... The education they get will allow them to have considerable earning power after graduation. It doesnt make sense for the parents to scrimp by, then have the kids graduate and make more than the parents did. I worked in a professional enviroment for may years (engineering). It was obvious which young engineers worked their way theu vs. those who didnt, the ones who worked were much more well adjusted.
that's the way i think,,,, some kids now days take those things for granted because it dint cause them anything at all.. i believe that for you to appreciated what you have, you got to work for it. teaching them to work for what they want would be a lesson which they will always thank you for...
That really depends on your finances and the child's desire to go.
I'll make this answer personal:
My children are small yet, but I know this will come up eventually. I would love to help my kids continue their education. If we can afford it, then I will help them financially through college. The catch would be that they would have to maintain passing grades and truly put in the effort for their education. If they start to party more than study, then they will have to pay their own way.
If we can't afford to send them, then I would help them apply for the different grants and loans that they would need and help them as much as I can.
I wanted to go to college and my parents could have afforded to help me, but my dad said I had to do it on my own. At 18 that was too overwhelming to me (I know lots of people do it, but it was a challenge for me) so I chose to get a job instead.
I'm now almost 32 with no education beyond high school. I'm planning on taking some courses when my youngest child starts school this year, but it would have been so much easier if I had done it right after graduation. I guess because I feel like I lost out, I would want to make it as easy as possible for my children to go.
little side note, certain states if you do get a divorce can force you to pay half of the child's college tuition
I have a daughter in college and at this point her father is paying all of her bills. I personally feel that if you can swing it you should help out a little. I believe that it's a parents duty to help as much as we can. I am not saying to go bankrupt and the fact that you have two can be pretty expensive. This is a difficult decision for you and your wife to make but maybe if you both compromised and and set boundaries and limits the burden would not be all on one person.
I can't say that you are wrong. It is your choice what you do with your money. If you had started them college funds when they were babies that would have helped. I know when our kids get older as long as they are in school we will be there to support them. They have funds now so when they get older they will have plenty of money. Everyone has different way to teach their children. Yours aren't right or worng. To each their own. Do as you please. Just remember when you get old they are the ones who pick out your nursing home..lol
Why did you have children?
It sounds like selfishness because they get to college age and you say you're on your own. That is an indication that kids were about what they do for you NOT what you can do to give them the best start.
You've brought kids into a new world with your old attitude.
High school does not get it anymore. Most jobs are 4 year degree entry level. How is a kid who can make $8 ?hr supposed to pay 17K/year for school? You want to saddle them with 75K debt to get a job?
Here is a scenario, keep your money make them "work" for their education. When the time comes, and it will, you will need help in retirement. They will tell you that you made them work for school so you can have retiremant money. They won't be able to help because they are paying off college loans or worse they are making no money because they could not pull school off.
My kids will be paying for their own college - we will support them in all other ways but I think they will take their education a lot more seriously if they are paying for it. I also think it will help them be more mature.
I ,would normaly agree,but have you looked at the cost of tuitions ,It's damn near impossible,i have three kids and am in school ,please do not discourage them from an education
Hmmm... Ok. Maybe do it fifty fifty. I know FOR A FACT that if the child is paying their own way through college, they are going to work 10 times harder because its their own money. Help them out with books and some of the tuition, but make them search for grants, because if they KNOW that you as a parent are going to foot the entire bill, they may not even look! I have seen SO MANY young adults at my campus who blow their classes off because mom and dad are paying for them, so why bother! Its ridiculous. Ive spoken to other teachers who say the same thing... they would much rather teach older students because older students actually want to learn and these younger ones, dont really care sometimes. I agree that you should pay for some of it, but if you offer to foot the entire bill, they may not take it seriously. They need to take some responsibility for their own education! My dad did this, and here I am with a 4.0! But when I first started college, If I got a C, I was happy! I had to retake a bunch of classes because I wanted my 4.0, but it was worth it and here I am a better person for it. He helps me with books and thats it! Harsh I thought, but a good life lesson!
Your job as a parent is to prepare them for life. In today's world, a college education is a necessity. If you send your kids to a local college, the costs should be manageable. With a college education, your kids can put you into a nice nursing home.
Firstly, shame on you for even thinking it is a deal-breaker..
You are way too insecure & selfish..
Your husband is the head of the family and unless he
is somehow incompetent, incapable or untrustworthy then
this should ultimately be his decision..
It's just my opinion, But we have 3 kids, and we told our kids if they want to go to collage they need to pay their own tuition's, they will surely try harder and not want to party as much since it's their money, Time to grow up and pay their way now.
You brought these children in the world, they turn 18 and now you tell them to pay college by themselves? Do you know much college cost these days? You should have been saving since they were born! I don't believe in spoiling kids..buying them new cars and such but it would be nice to help them further their education..i mean the same could be if when you are too old to take care of yourself they say "oh well gotta do it on your own!" Just because you help with college does not mean you are taking care of them forever, college is a big expense and now they are saying 1 in every 4 college students suffer from depression, so putting the burden of college itself plus having to pay it all..that is a lot of stress on them, yes they should get a part time job while in college or full time if they can handle it, hopefully they can get some grants and scholarships..but if you are able to help them and you don't i think that is wrong. Some parents don't have the money to send kids to college and the kids do make it and they pay, they go little by little, but if you can do it...don't be selfish..if they are educated that means they will get a better job and be able to take care of you when you are old!
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