Boyfriend has secret email accounts?

Question:

I'd like to hear some people's opinion about a situation that I'm in. I've been with my boyfriend for several years and we've been talking about getting married. We moved in together 5 months ago and share a home computer. By looking at the history, I can see that he uses email accounts that he doesn't tell me about. I was able to get into one of them, and basically, it's where he sends porn or other types of sexy pictures that he finds on the Internet or that people forward to him. I also see links to Adult chatrooms and webcams. I confronted him about this, and was very upset because I didn't know how far this was going with him. He was very remorseful and told me that he's lived alone for so long, that this is a habit he's gotten into. I really don't think that he's cheating on me in "real" life, but this stuff upsets me, because today I just found out that although he told me that he got rid of all those accounts, there is still at least one that he has active. Thoughts?

Answer:
you have to pick your battles sweetie...believe me! Ive had similiar issues before and you have to ask yourself what is more important...arguing over pictures on the internet or a possible "real" woman. I personally think its just a "man" thing to look at porn and pics--no harm. Now if he crosses the line and does the chat room thing and makes plans to meet women THEN I would jump in on that battle! If you think about it, these pics are not real, flesh, its fascination and arrousing. So let him look at his lil pic files and then enjoy him!

so do i ... why? because its private stuff you don't necessarily want people knowing about...like talking to other girls...secret e-mails you only will open alone because it may be something you don't want your other party to see...doesn't mean hes cheating though...may just have a porn addiction...does he still like sex regular? if so i wouldn't worry too much about it...most men like to see naked women.
if hes more into porn than you, you may have problem.
but if he still performs regular, don't worry...
i heard doctor drew say " a healthy amount of masturbation helps boost the male libido!" it does mine.

at least one a day keeps the limp doctor away...!!

nothing wrong with that

I think it's therapist time.

Well, if he's been doing that for a long time, you just have to give him time to get rid of the last one. It's like an addiction that he's slowly coming off of. Just show him lots of love and give him time.

I have several email accts. for different fellas.Don't snoop unless you can handle the truth.

I think a marriage should be built on mutual trust and that the tw of you should work out the issues you have with trust before the wedding.

He needs to be honest with you. Bottom line. If he thinks he can't quit looking at it cold turkey he shouldn't tell you he can. Don't get super angry at him, try to be a little understanding. Then he'll feel he can open up to you. He may need counseling...

Sounds like you have a boyfriend who doesn't care about you!
That's just my opiniun

This guy sounds like a blast. I'd like to go drinking with him an learn some of his tricks!!!

so he lied to you? if you can't trust him, you can't love him.

tell him it bothers you and see what you could work out

theres nothing wrong with looking at porn and pics.. who cares. But if you find emails from a specific person over and over, I'd be concerned.

You should search Myspace and see if any of his email accounts or his name have myspace. www.myspace.com

Well that's a hard one because no person should be doing that kind of stuff. Ask him why he lied and still has at least one account to do things you don't approve of and if you have been together so long then he should care about your thoughts and concerns.

If you've been together for SEVERAL YEARS and are just NOW starting to talk about marriage, then what he's been doing BEFORE marriage has NO BEARING on what he may do AFTER you're married. If these ADULT activities were interfering with a married couple's relationship, then I'd say you'd be right to confront him about it. BUT, since you're not married to him NOW, I think there are some trust and privacy issues at stake here. Ask him for a definite wedding date - then tell him you hope he "grows" out of this sort of thing before your wedding night.

Most men live single lives for many years before they get married. And they need to satisfy their sexual feelings somehow. Looking at porn and masturbating is one common way. And almost all single men do it. This becomes a habit over the years. And many men continue doing it, even after they get married.

If you are going to break up with your boyfriend because of this habit, then you will have a lot difficulty finding another man who is not like that. Perhaps you will find someone who is more devious and secretive than your present boyfriend is. And he will manage to hide his porn habit from you. But I doubt that you will find a perfect man who doesn't enjoy looking at porn once in a while.

I think your expectation of what a man should be like is a little bit unreasonable.

Boyfriend has secret email accounts?

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