I already asked this but didn’t really tell the whole story plus I need more opinions!?
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Hi imaqt, wow i just read your story/question and i just wanted to say what a geat person you are. To go through all that in life and care so much about others and go on and do your agree is really admirable. In relation to your question i just think you are very young at 17 to be worrying about all this kinda of stuff, you've had enough of that already in your life it seems. I really think you should give it a go with your boyfriend, but I dont think you should get married until you are well into your 20's and fully sure of a future with this man of yours. Your life is only beginning. I understand what you mean when you say you dont want to set yourself up for a hard life again especially if this boyfriend is maybe more a dreamer than an actual breadwinner. You have to think of you. I do think you should carry on with your relationship because you obviously do love him but rule the marriage out. Just tell him you want to wait a few more years, tell him its not that you dont love him but life is only starting for you both now. Your truly a great person, good luck - From Sunny
listen to your heart
Like the first answer. The heart speaks louder than people do. Go with it, your heart that is. And NOTHING in life is a garauntee, so live your life day by day, not too far out to the future. Good luck, and be happy!!
Enjoy it while it lasts. Since you're sure you don't wanna get married yet, leave those worries for another, more appropriate day. Build on other things around you so that you have something to fall back on, if, for some reason, it doesn't work out with Jeff. Frankly, you're too young for those issues yet. Concentrate on your studies/work for now. Same's valid with Jeff. All the best.
I take it the first go around with this question did not generate what you wanted to hear which was probably a big get out now while you can and your mom is right leave this guy. You can keep asking the question if you want but I would guess your going to hear more of what you don't want to hear which is move on from this guy. No matter what happens I wish you the very best but I say no, it will not only be a hard and unforgiving life but it won't last because the reality is most relationships do not last. Yes people can and do stay together for many, many years but that does not mean they are happy. So again I say no, you won't be happy now if you leave him but you have a chance to be happy later when you look back at this crucial moment in this time of your life.
You sound like a real sweet heart. It is very exceptable to move in together see if you are compatiable in ever way. Family backgrounds a can have a profound impact on a person. Either you become what you were raised with or your determind to become somebody.
Good luck. You know what to look for if things fall apart.
Wow you have a lot on your plate there don't you? You seem like a very intelligent girl. you are in a tricky situation. OK for a moment put aside all your feelings about him for a moment... close your eyes and picture what you want from your life, your dreams and goals, the type of person you want to be, the area you'd like to live in, see it as though it is real and believe you can have it ( because if you believe it, REALLY believe it you will work towards that goal and it WILL become a reality) now think about how your current boyfriend would fit into that life, it is fairly likely ( unless he does something to deal with his issues and low self esteem) that he will always be needy with you. This is your life, it is about you, what do you really want?. If you thought he'd be absolutely fine if you split up and you'd have no guilt then would you? You are so young, ( and I don't mean that in a patronising way) you have so much potential to change your life around, you are well educated and articulate, you can do anything, don't rush in and get married, you are clearly not ready for it, It sounds as though he wants to get married in order to make sure you don't leave him. He sounds like a great person, but is it enough? If you click on my picture you will see the list of other questions i answered, read my answer to the question " what should i do now" or something like that...it isn't the same as your dilemma but i think the advice might be relevent to you . Good luck in all you do... oh ps i really recommend the following book,,,i wish i'd read it when i was your age. 'Be your own life coach by Fiona Harrold' I think you sound smart enough to understand it. Live for you, don't make yourself unhappy in order to make someone else happy(ish) all the best :)
All I have to say is think before you get married. I got married after I graduated, big mistake. Apparently I was the only one who took it seriously, he wanted to see other people and asked if it was ok?! You'll know when you meet the one, the minute you see them. Now I'm with my first love and life has never been better ( I knew he was the one, but he married his ex-wife and went and had two kids, and I thought after 3 years I needed to move on w/ my life). So all I'm sayin is don't make the same mistake I did. It's A LOT easier to get married than it is to get a divorce. And like you said you want someone that can provide, so my advice keep looking like ya mom said(listen to your mom, you'll found out they're almost always right). Good Luck!!
First of all life is a bitccch all these problems...!Girl if you really love him and you thing is not like his father be with him you love him can't you see and the first priority for you two is after you get to a house find a job a good job so that you can make a living and if after a long time he behaves bad separate from him and live again from the beginning listen life is not to live us ,we are to live life ok ?
You have to think if this is someone that you want to be with, if you can stand his problems, and realize that if he has anger problems he will eventually hit you and start beating you. He just isn't yet because he wants to marry you. Once you are his you will be his punching bag whenever he is stressed out. Get out now or you will one day be a member of a battered women's shelter or dead.
There are plenty of other guys out there without all of his problems. Don't do it.
It doesn't matter what the persons background is or what there medical promblems are or what his family or yours think if you two love each other it'll work out in the end..read 1 corinthians chapter 13 in the bible..that'll help you out...just tell him how much you love him but you wanna get everything together before getting married if he loves you he'll understand and wait...but don't give up on love because of what other people think..
And hearing more of the story does not change my answer, in fact it only convinces me further that you and he are NOT marriage material, yes, you love him, fine..it takes a great deal more than love to make a marriage work. You clearly crave security and a certain level of financial stability, and your boy has dreams that do not support that goal...I'm not saying you're money hungry, merely that you obviously and very reasonably do not want to live hand to mouth... mark my words, you'll wind up being the breadwinner and he WILL grow bitter if his hopes are not realized, and you'll grow to resent being solely responsible for putting food on the table.
And his family is impossible...the parents may be very nice, generous people, but they are also alcoholic drug abusers...is that what you want as the grandparents of your children? People with whom you could never feel good about leaving those children with? And a sister in law you dislike and who dislikes you? Love is no where near enough to make this workable.
Go to college, meet some bright, ambitious boy with a life view that is fairly close to your own.
Let time decide... usually, when u make plans they don't work out.
First, u have 2 organise your priorities... finish school. As where Jeff is concerned... love is great, but be careful: it could end as fast as it begun
It sounds like you have had a lot dumped on you and you still have goals which is great (radiology techs make great money and enjoy a great lifestyle). You have choices now that you are not under your father so I suggest you don't dump anymore pain on yourself by attaching yourself to this guy.
He'll end up hurting you and you will suffer emotionally and financially. You're too young anyway to make these kinds of decisions. Enjoy your life now and have fun, focus on your career goals and making a better life for yourself...not him.
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