Shallow or just realistic?
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Base on your thoughtful description, I'd say your asking yourself good questions with a genuine intent of realism. If you are asking yourself if you are being shallow, such shows attributes of reflection, therefore your probably not being shallow. After the initial attraction fades in to a longer term relationship, issues of compatibility will be an important factor in your happiness. Not any one issue, tattoo artist, age, living situation, vehicle condition, overall financial stability is the a deal-breaker, yet they all point to a profile of who he is. I sense that he probably isn't the one for you.
At the same time, it is wise to realize that we can carry some emotional scars after divorce. It is important to remain open to life and not allow this baggage affect your judgment of others. At 20 years old, if I were you, I'd become comfortable with casual dating for the next 5 years and if something happens, while you're not really looking, then it's a bonus. Maybe just relax and enjoy the gifts life has to offer and it will all work out.
I believe that you are being realistic. If you feel that that person is not right for you, then forget it and move on. Youll find someone better in the long run.
you need to look at more then money right now it looks to em that that is all you really care about give him a chance that is all he can aford for now is a junky car then fine but it is hard to pay bils when your on your own with no help form a partner he cant aford a house by him self most likly
You are being very realistic. It sounds as though you know what you want in life, and you don't want to be with someone who lives day to day. There is nothing shallow about it, and I respect your sight on this matter, you can see it clearly. Being as you see it clearly, you are fairly intelligent, which leaves me to ask, why are you questioning your yourself? You already know the answer...
You're being realistic.
Nowadays, love is not enough to hold a relationship.
Our world is run on being able to pay bills on time.
Being in debt can really hurt a relationship.
Also, even though you ladies deny it, it is difficult for you all to respect a man, or take him seriously if he is unemployed, or makes less money then you do.
If your just looking for a good time, hes your guy.
If your looking for something serious, do not pass go, do not collect 200 dollars.
I think you are being totally realisitc. If you don't feel like a guy can be an adequate provider in the future, then you probably need to follow your gut instincts. Not following them could lead to problems and possibly even heartbreak in the future.
Your just being realistic...but most of those things don't really change how you can like someone and be attracted to them. Usually opposites attract because they complete each other as a couple.
Plus even if YOU are looking at these things what makes you think he is? Most guys don't look at what a girl does, and how much money does she have or life experience or maturity. They just think of ONE THING.(wink) after that it's personality...
If he has a great personality...who cares what he needs to work on himself. Appereantly he doesn't so why should you?
A man has to decide when he wants to really do something about his life...if he has a woman tell him or have him do it...he will be miserable. Yet some /most men need that little push...
the trick is on how to have them do it w/ out feeling like someone else is having them do it. =) Now that is the real trick.
No your not being shallow but also look at the bright side he does have a job and some people have had to over come more obstacles in their life than others and some people take longer to get heir stuff together, here is what i would do, take it slow with him, hang out have a good time you might realize that it is much better than you thought and you already said your not ready for a relationship so what is wrong with hanging out with someone and having fun and you might see that he has the same goals and dreams as you it is just taking him a little longer than you to get his stuff together, also you might find out that he likes his life but needs a good stable girl to straighten him out and guide him right. You night be suprised
Hmmm... In this case you are most likely being realistic. But, be careful just not go over some line to shallowness. You need to relax a bit. Not be too judgemental.
I think you are being realistic. You seem like you are very motivated and he doesn't seem to be as motivated. That never works out in a relationship.
The professional versus worker thing is a bit shallow. Some tattoo artists make good money. But, the fact that he is 28 and owns a car that doesn't work would bother me. Sounds like he isn't a grown-up yet. The roommate thing isn't a big deal, especially if you live in a large city. Housing can be so expensive he won't be able to afford a place by himself. I've had quite successful friends with masters degrees living with roommates because apartments can be so expensive in cities, or even suburbs. What is their place like? Is it well-kept? Clean? Upscale (probably not if his only car is junk car)? Or does he do nothing aside from work besides sit in there, drink, smoke pot, and play video games? If he is still living like a teenager with no parents to answer to, then he will probably never grow up.
Realistic, no one wants to support someone other than themselves. 28 is a little old to be that slack. I would find someone who is motivated to do something with their lives. Think about the future. Good Luck@
Your answering your own question. The fact that you have so many negatives in your head before you even go out with him should tell you something. You should have learnt from your first marriage. At 20 why don't you just go out with him and have some fun.
If you were a man and he a woman, then your relationship could've been ok.
Many men don't mind supporting their wife. And women usually try to marry a man who is financially better off than they are.
But with you being a woman and him being a man, I'd say that your relationship would be unusual and unconventional.
If you choose to break the norms, then don't expect to have a normal life.
If it's a normal and stable life you want, then do what other women usually do. Find a boyfriend for yourself at your college.
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