Need help with interview thank you letter?


Question:
Everyone's help will be much appreciated. I had an interview with Macy's and I would like to send my interviewer a thank you letter. What I need help with is I want to know if this sounds right. Please just look over it and give me your constructive criticism please. Thank you!

July 16, 2007
Street
City, State, ZIP

Interviewer Name
Human Resources
Street
City, State, ZIP

Dear Interviewer:

My name is _ and I had an interview with you on Friday, July 13, 2007 at 2:00 PM for the Retail Sales Associate position. I would like to thank you for taking the time out to interview me and considering me for the Retail Sales Associate position. I would like to express my interest for this position and I hope that I will get the job.

This position is right for me because I have experience working as a Sales Associate, I’m a hard worker, I enjoy working with customers, helping them in any way I can, and I will not let you or anyone else who works for or s

Answer:
I think that it is really good, it is similar to thank you letters I have written in the past.
You don't need to get so detailed on the date and time of the interview. Just date your letter and then, for example: "Thank you for taking the time to meet with me Friday/yesterday (whatever day it was). Be brief and to the point. You already have it over other candidates for writing this thank- you note. So few people do it. Here's my version below:

Dear Mr./Ms._____________

Thank you for your time spent meeting with me last Friday. I appreciated the opportunity to learn more about the position of Sales Associate in the Cosmetics department (substitute appropriate title and department) at Macy's.

I feel that my prior experience as a Sales Associate along with being a long-time customer of Macy's would make me an ideal candidate for the position.

If you require any further information, please do not hesitate to contact me at (your phone number and e-mail address).

I look forward to hearing from you in the near future.

Sincerely:

Your Name (signed)

Your Name (printed, if your signature is illegible).
I would like to express my interest for this position and I hope that I will get the job. - I would take that out, and instead put something like:
I feel that Macy's would be a great fit for me and ideal to pursue my future career goals... I don't really like the last paragraph - your interviewer knows all of this from the interview already. Maybe just end it on - I look forward to hearing from you regarding this opportunity, and hope you agree that my qualifications make me well suited for this position. Best Regards, Your name
That looks good. You cover that you're interested in the position and how you will help their business out (not letting them or their customers down).

Keep in mind that dh has been a recruiter for 17 years & has only gotten maybe five thank you notes in that amount of time. It's sad, but true. Taking time to write a thank you note will help you stand out more than a lot of other things.
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