New to Online Dating : Can anyone share their wisdom and experiences online?
Question:
I thank everyone who takes the time to answer in advance!
Nikki
Yes there are many rules and one of it is don't do it. You can get seriosly get harmed
If they don't show thier teeth when they smile in a picure, there is usually a reason. Before you meet, ask them if there is anything you need to be prepared for- smoker, can't drive, 6 fingers {i asked one guy this-he said no- and when i met him, it turned out he had cerebral palsy. not that there is anything wrong with handicaps or the like, he said he was perfectly normal--he should have just told me}
Never let them knkow where you work or live, meet during the day in a public place, and make sure your friends know where you are.
Just get to know each other before you meet, and don't have any expectations, just see if there is a spark when you meet.
Best thing I ever did... EHarmony. I was 29 years old, had experiences 3 long-term relationships meeting the old-fashioned way and a friend of mine found her husband on EHarmony.
I communicated with several men and "closed match" on the ones I didn't like right off the bat or through our limited commnucation (no email or phone - int he beginning, you send questions back and forth through the system). I went out on dates with three men (PUBLIC PLACES and I only gave them my cell number, no home phone or address and YOU DRIVE to meet them). They were all great guys, just a little blash...like no connection, ya know?
The fourth guy, we talked on the phone for 20 minutes and made plans to meet that night - INSTANT connection. Within a week we were almost inseparable. I thought he may be the one, so I asked him for permission to run a background on him. He asked the same. We traded birthdates, full names and ss#'s and I spent the $100 and WAHLAH! He was clean as a whistle.
We've been together almost three years, living together since 4 months after we met and will most likely get married one day.
The weird thing is? I love Eharmony's matching system, because I NEVER would have approached this man in public. He just wasn't my "type". He is literally completely opposite of me. He says the same thing. We both count oursleves lucky to have met. We are truly soulmates. And NO, I did not believe in soulmates before. If you don't believe in it either, then just wait until you meet one of yours. Then you'll believe. :-) I am happier than I have ever been in my entire life. He is literally my other half and we always say we are two peas in a pod...a very happy pod. :-)
Good luck and just BE CAREFUL. There are fruitcakes out there. I must say though, I think MORE fruitcakes on free sites. I like the paid ones since someone is more serious about finding someone if they're paying for it.
NO ADDRESS and NO HOME PHONE NUMBER until you are comfortable and do a background check.
My daughter just stared doing it. She did Cupid.com and Match.com. She won't respond to a guy who will not show his picture. That makes good sence, you have to see the guy first to see if there is any attraction at all. First e-mail back and forth for a while then exchange phone numbers. She has a second cell phone which she uses just for this kind of thing. Next step is to meet for dinner, lunch or coffee in a public place. Don't give him your last name or address. If you are initially attracted and would like to see him again then go ahead and set up another date but keep it safe, public place again. If you don't feel there is any chemistry at all I would strongly advise do not set up another meeting. It is very wrong to give a guy any hope if you're not that into him. My daughte is havin a good experience. The guy is very, very nice. He is a little shy and does'nt go out much so this was a perfect way for him to meet a girl. My daughter is divorced with 2 children and know whats she wants in a relationship and does'nt have to go to the bars which she would'nt do anyway. Just be careful and before you get to committed to some guy share the info with your Mom or a good friend and ask for their input. I wish you all the best, be safe and Good Luck!
I Don't Think That You Should Look For Relationships On The Net Unless You Just Want To Fool Around With People, Or Just Talk To People As Friends Sharing Little Information As Possible.
But If You Do:
Watch Out For Those Who Talk Too Much About What Experience They Have, Cuz Really They Don't Its An Impression, Or They Are Trying To See What They Can Find Out About You To Use That Information,
You Really Can't Screen Profiles, Usually There Mostly Made Up,
Make Sure That You Get All The Actual Information You Need To See If You Are Really Compatable With That Person, Before You Talk Or Meet With Them,
You Don't Really Know Who Is On The End Unless They Give You An Actual Real Number,
Ask Questions Like: "So Why Are You Really Here To Meet Someone, Rather In Person So They Know Your Real And Not A Fake", "Are You Desperate Or Something", "Why Can't You Find Anyone Compatable With You", "Why Should I Be Interested In You, What Can You Do For Me",
Don't Share Too Much Info Until After Your First Initial Meeting In Person,
It Will Be Too Tricky For You To Have A Romantic Communication Unless Both Of You Just Wanna Mess Around Playing Each Other,
I Made 2 Attempts Of Meeting People Online: 1.
I Fell For A Girl Who Had 3 Kids ( I Did Not Mind Though ), And She Was White And Believe It Or Not She Never Been With A White Guy Before, She Is Very Heavy Into Mexicans, Which All 3 Of Her Kids Were Mexican By One Guy, But She Just Used Me To Get Back At Him, She Wasn't Ever Really Interested In Me, And 2.
I Met Up With Someone In California She Used Me, Then Ignored Me, Dumped Me At Her Friends House And Left Me There, I Almost Got Stuck In California With No Job, Money, Car, Or House.
Good Luck To You If You Choose To Do This Sort Of Crap, If You Don't Meet People From Where Your At, Where You Get To Know Them Better, More Chances Of You Getting Lied To, Played, Or Even Maybe Hurt.
I Strongly Wouldn't Recomend It, Been There Done That, I Was Screwed, But Then I Met My Wife, In Person, Have A Baby Girl, Been Married Over A Year.
1) Use a high quality dating site! - They will ensure that their members are truthful and honest with their profiles, because high quality sites encourage members to report other misleading members or false profiles. (I use the below website for all of my clients)
2) You can conduct profile searches using the sites matching software, or through your own manual searches. (Contact the site's support personnel with any questions or issues! They will make your life much easier if you do so upon day 1 to get yourself oriented with the site)
3) I instruct my clients upon a certain search technique that you can find in some of my other answers regarding "online dating". But, I can tell you that you will need to chat with the person online for a while before you get to know them well enough to know if you want to meet them in person or not... chat engines are a good place to start because they're faster than e-mail... then work up to phone calls if you like them... then ask them out if you enjoy speaking to them on the phone... IT'S THAT SIMPLE!
4) Be yourself and talk about anything that you want to talk about... what do you want to know about them? Or, simply ask them to describe themselves in detail to you... because as they describe themselves, you'll find yourself wanting to know more! I recommend that you be totally open and truthful with whatever they want to know about you. It will ensure that there are no surprises later on that can cause stress in the meeting or dating phases of a relationship.
5) You will know either during the first or second in person date if the two of you are romantically compatible. These things usually simply happen... and you'll find yourself wanting to see or talk to them more... and to be closer to that person. Just let things flow naturally... don't force them! But, be sure to ask before you go in for a kiss... it will ensure to avoid an uncomfortable moment if they're not ready for that yet... If they are constantly smiling back at you and "smiling with their eyes", then you know that they truly like you.
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