Be honest...do you ever get sick of it?
Question: I've been really down the last few days because I've realized that everything in my entire life at this point is about the baby. What I eat, what I wear, what my friends and family talk to me about...I can't even take a soothing bath without this purple-striped mountain of baby belly staring me in the face.
And I feel like while my life has done a 180, my partner's has not. His friends ask him about more than the baby when they call or stop by. He can still smoke (just not around me or in the house). He still has a job he enjoys (I lwas a fairly successful tech support agent, by I lost my job in the 1st trimester due to spending more time with my head over the toilet than with my butt at the desk...I live in a free-fire state, they're allowed to do that).
I just feel like I'll never be "me" again. I know my whole life is supposed to change, but to be honest I'm sick of only talking about baby and not any of my other interests. Do you ever get tired of it, or am I just horrible?
Answer:
Oh yeah I got sick of it! And guess what? The first time I went out without my baby (she was 4 weeks old), I came home to see her. Daddies change when they hold their little one, until then it isnt real to them.
I couldnt work due to morning sickness and bedrest, had to quit smoking, no caffeine, etc. I threw up 24/7 for almost 5 months, and had to sit on my butt and let my athletic body go to waste.
He worked, ran, smoked, played golf in the heat, drank a beer here and there. I hated it!
But now... my daughter is a wonderful part of my life. I stayed home for 7 months, and finally returned to work to have something for me to do. At work, Im not a mom, Im me, just me again. When I come home, I pick up my baby and realize Ive missed her like crazy.
You will get your body back to yourself, you will get your life back...mostly :). Be sure that once you are feeling up to it after the baby is born, you leave the two of them to bond, and go do something on your own for a couple hours. You deserve it!
Well, of course your life is going to change fully. It's just changed a lot in a very short amount of time, so you need to adjust. You'll get used to it, and you'll feel better.
Aww..I'm sorry, but I think your feelings are perfectly normal. I bet by the time that little one comes along, your feelings will change and you won't feel so bad. In the mean time, be sure and take time for yourself before the baby is born, because there won't be a whole lot of opportunities afterward. Good Luck :)
It's called Hormones you are going through a lot. Your body is changing your attitude is changing. You are suppose to feel this way. I feel the same way too. Next time you are sick and throwing up and your not able to work, you can get a doctors note and give it to your boss, after you have the baby you still get to keep your job, you had to leave because of medical reasons. But anyways. I kind of get tired of people saying something everyday about me being pregnant. Sometimes I wish they would not and let time go by.
Perfectly normal. Just tell other people how you feel. And look forward to the day when the little rascal goes off to school wearing a cute backpack and will be gone for 6 hours!!
Its normal to be think like to a point. Having a baby is very huge life changing event. You will be able to go back to work & enjoy aspects of your life you did prior to the baby later on. My son is 10 months old & I have just started a few months ago being able to manage my time between work, my son, house duties & time for me. Your husband isn't going through what you are so he doesn't understand what you are going through & never will. Once the baby comes his life will change too it won't be just yours anymore. Good luck
You are so not alone in how you are feeling. Its perfectly normal to experience what i would refer to as a identity crisis. If you have had a good job etc, then you suddenly find yourself stuck at home with a body you hardly recognise anymore then i think its perfectly normal to wonder what happened to you in all of this!! I certainly feel the same (im 31 weeks pregnant) The stuff you said about the only minor change to your partners exsistence definately struck a cord with me...tell me about it! I have 2 kids already so not wanting to be the bearer of bad news but once you have had the baby.it continues as everyone wants to see/touch/hold hear about the litlle bundle. Just make sure you get some supportive grandparents or partner to babysit for you sometimes so you can have a little me time. I love my baby too but lets face it, its a big change and can be daunting at times. hope all improves soon for you. xxx
Yes, I do understand. I hate that my baby father doesn't think that he has to change his life as well. I got two jobs when I found out I was pregnant and he doesn't even have one! I finished high school while he got kicked out. I had to quit going out and partying while he smokes everyday and drinks when he wants and hangs out with his friends whenever! He doesn't understand that his responsibility starts now just as well as mine does, NOT when the baby comes.
i dont have any kids and i pray to god that doesn't happen to me because im also on ortho tri cyclen, but it was interesting to read your story. actually i think i would feel the same way
It's okay... relax... take a deep breath... all mothers have been there. My sister conceived her last two children while using birth control. It's fairly common and I recommend using two forms of bc in the future. It doesn't matter, btw, if you are in a free fire state, you were descriminated against and it is definitely a pursuable offense.
Tell your family that you want to take a week off of talking about the baby. That from Monday to Monday, the conversations cannot include anything about the baby unless you bring it up. You might be surprised how often you bring it up. Many women get depression before the baby is born and it's possible you do too, it might not be a bad idea to see your doctor, but it's completely up to you.
I love to Karaoke... so I go karaoke (I'm 19 weeks along) with or with out my husband and children. I like to sculpt and write... I do it. In other words, get back into your hobbies and when you're family calls tell them about your latest thing you created (maybe a computer program) and brag about it a little... nobody will mind. Keep busy on the things you love.
Also, ask your partner to quit smoking while you're pregnant... if that's a possibility... it might make you feel better that you're not going through it all alone... and it sounds like you don't have far to go so he won't be missing much.
I hope this was helpful advice.
I never felt a better peace with myself in my life. Knowing everybody cares for my baby and making conversation about him/her all the time. It really makes me feel so much that my baby will be very much loved through and through.
I recall feeling a bit like you do when I was pregnant with my son, but in reality, its not about you anymore. Its not about you being number 1 to your man or your parents or even your siblings. Everything is about the baby. Its so worth it, you'll see!
My hubby decided when I first got pregnant with my son, that he only had 9 months left of his life to play with his friends. I was literally left alone all during my pregnancy and I would tell him, one day your ganna want to spend time with me and I will have no time for you, so thats fine! The day came and his butt was put on the back burner, he found out exactly how it felt. Now we're expecting #2 and he did a complete u-turn.
I can understand what you're saying. I feel the same way some days too. Maybe you just need to try and bring up conversation with other people about things that don't involve baby stuff. Let them know you're still YOU. See, I kinda have the opposite problem... We tried for a while for this baby and I think I annoy the crap out of my friends and family because pretty much ALL I talk about is the baby...
I know it can be hard, especially since this is not something you were planning and pretty much thought you were preventing. Just know that it's just a little bit longer and you're doing the most important thing (in my opinion) a woman can do with her life. I'm sure it will all be worth it in the end. Best of luck to you! Hang in there girl... You'll get through this! :)
From this day forth you will be known as ________ mother...
Congratulations...It was hard for me to not be in the limelight after the baby...You will not be you for eighteen more years then it is empty nest...!! I love the line head in the toilet...butt at the desk??! You had it rough...
Now take a deep breath and learn about discipline because as the commercial says "Life comes at you fast" and before you know it it is toddler time!
Be thankful that you can look for another job...make sure you have main sitter and backup sitter...keep the list current.
The experience you gained will plug in when you can put the little one in a daycare/babysitter arrangement...Enjoy the time with baby and you...
Yeah your life is goin to change forever HOWEVER for the better. Yes you will have more responisbility, but you will have alittle person that you made out of love.
Im a nurse but my children are the best thing that I ever did. Yes you feel overwhelmed right now but that will soon change. You will beable to go back to work soon if you choose, or just have time to spend with the baby.
things will get better hun, but the baby will always be the first thing people ask you about.
Sorry, but your life really is going to be all about this baby for a while. Since you are not working, consider taking up a hobby or joining some sort of club so you can do something you enjoy.
After the baby is born, it will likely continue like this. But not forever. You have to make a conscious effort to not end your life just because you had a baby. Many women make that mistake and forget that they are still a woman, a wife/girlfriend, a human being. You have to take some time for yourself and it can be done in the smallest ways like buying a sexy pair of shoes, getting a new hairstyle, etc. Take care of yourself because if you are unhappy then you will bring that to your baby.
When I was pregnant, I hated that I could not go shopping for regular clothes. So instead I started shopping for all kinds of bath gels, bath salts, lotions, etc. It was my way of pampering myself. And smelling good everywhere I went made me good about myself, even with a huge 8 month belly in front of me! Good luck!
Dont worry.. im sure that all of this is happening just because it's the news.. you are pregnant with your 1st baby... its exciting.. and it should be 4 you too.. but well i cant say im just 7 weeks preggy so.. maybe i'll feel that way too.. who knows.. anyway, im sure you'll get your life back, when the baby is born and the excitement of it all passes you'll be fine.. dont worry and try to enjoy the not working.. the attention.. the baths.. everything.. !! i hope you feel better soon.. good luck!! best wishes!!
we are all afraid of change.
it's natural to feel that way. your life is changing already, and it was unexpected, or planed..
once you have that little one in your arms, you will see it was all worth it. NOthing else will matter and am sure you will find another job, so dont' feel left out or stressed about that.
talk to your parents or your close real friends.. tell them how you feel..they will understand specially because they are paretns.
try different places to go to, or different environments where you can meet new friends...
but the belly is an ice breaker for anybody
congrats on your baby
To be honest i don't ever get tired of talking about my baby! if it was up to me i would talk about my baby 24/7 i love being pregnant symptoms and all! i love people asking about the baby!! call me werid but i love it!! i am so sorry you feel like you don't have your own life now like the baby has taken over! and it will pass maybe it is just a phase!! what i think you are feeling is jealuosy toward your husband! because they only get to help make it and that is it!! they don't have to go through the struggles of being pregnant! the morning sickness, stretch marks, gas, worries, carrying the baby, watching what you eat, etc. but i hope at least this made you feel better and help you! ALSO GOT PREGNANT ON THE PILL TOO! LOL
oh, dear one, it might get even worse after the baby is born, temporarily, but the good news is it will get easier with time. It's not only your life that's changing. You are experiencing fatigue because it's YOU who's changing also. It's a huge growing progress that men can not participate in, even if they wanted to. Nothing changes a woman more than motherhood, inside and out. And if you're not quite ready and not prepared for these enormous changes it's only natural to feel tired and sick about the whole thing. Please don't feel guilty! Don't think you're horrible! Your emotions are in huge turmoil, and that's exactly how it's supposed to be. I know that at this very moment it may feel as if you're only giving up things, and giving up things you're attached to is always tough. But in order to gain something new you need to make room for it. It's not a coincidence pregnancy lasts for nine long months, and it's not just for the baby to grow! :) Your life can become absolutely wonderful and fulfilling even if you are totally fed up with your situation at the moment. The pregnancy won't last for ever, and after it's over you don't feel half as trapped as you do know. Make sure you have enough caring people around you, willing and able to share the joy and responsibilities, and you will have your life back - even better than it was before! Talk about your feelings and fears openly, and you will get support. Good luck!
OK, what you're feeling is completely normal! Your hormones are completely out of whack. Combine that with not really "loving" being pregnant, and you are allowed to be upset! I did not like being pregnant. I didn't realize how much i was glad to be just me again until i delivered my baby. And i did love feeling all of her movements, kicks, seeing the ultrasounds, hearing the heartbeat, etc. Anyway, part of your feelings may be because you are out of your job (sounds like a crummy boss...). I was also out of a job during my pregnancy, i was laid off at 18 weeks pregnant. By then it was too late to find a new job until after the baby was born. So it was a long pregnancy! All my friends had jobs. My husband had a job. My family lives 8 hours away. So it was just me and the tv all day long! Trust me when i say that you WILL be "you" again. You will completely fall in love with your son when he is born, and you will find that you enjoy talking about your son once he's here. Take your last few weeks and get a pedicure or a manicure. Or go out for dinner with your partner, mom, or girlfriends (or go on several dinners!). Make a rule that you don't talk baby while you are at dinner! Good luck and Congratulations!
ohh yes my sister watches that mess ALL the time on TLC left me w/ night mares for three weeks
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