Am I wrong?


Question:
My husband wants me to put his kids on my insurance, I don't want to do that. I feel it's his and his X wifes responsibility to care for the kids. It's going to cost me 190.00 a month to cover his 3 kids. He is going to get a court order for that because we can't add them unless he has that. That will mean he will be paying 500.00 a month for child support and then I will be paying for the health care! Do you think I am wrong to feel this way? Those kids are not my responsibility! The only reason he wants this to happen is because his kids need braces and doesn't want to pay the 5000.00 per kid. I can understand not wanting to pay that amount, but it's still not my problem! Their mom has them on the Oregon health plan, so it's not like they don't have some kind of coverage.

Answer:
NO YOU ARE NOT WRONG!! as the wife of a man who has children with his ex, i have watched him go thru years of paying and paying, BUT that is what ppl do when they divorce with kids. THEY are his kids and you have nothing to do thier support of any kind. Sure you knew he had kids when you married him, doesnt matter they arent your kids and are not your responsiblity. I do think that when they are with you, you should treat them as tho they were your own, but when it comes to the money part... That belongs to thier birth parents.
I don't think you are. You are his husband and they are not really your kids. It's somewhat selfish thinking but it's ultimately your choice.
No! If you are the girlfriend then you hvae every right to be mad that he ask you to do this.
Your Right. They are NOT your responsinbility. Put your foot down and tell him like it is. Keep this past relationships out of this one.
yeah so let him know u cant do dat.
You're 100% right about this. That takes some nerve for him to ask you to do this.
You should only put them on your insurance if he is going to pay the insurance. You should not be paying it for him.

He should be paying for it out of his own pocket.
i agree.. it should be more the mom's responsibility..

but you do have a responsibilty to your husband..

you and your husband are a team.. its the two of you agaisnt the world..

SO i would think you would do whatever it is he needed you to do to help him out
You must please your man. Get a second job, if he needs money, and work harder.
i dont know, i mean no its not your responsibilty but when you married your husband i would think that would mean you accepted his children too, just talk with your husband and tell him how you feel, i dont think he should have even asked you to do this bc now it is going to put a big strain on your relationship, good luck whatever you decide to do.
You are right. You need not pay for your husband's children insurance. Tell your husband clearly of your disinterest.
sorry hun, but when you married him you also married the kids and the ex.
braces are alot cheaper with insurance than without. and if he had to 5000 for them it would still hurt your pocket book as well.
You are right, he is out of line. Personally, I think that if your husband is paying 500 dollars a month in child support, their mother should get the insurance. But the law doesn't like the way us "Second wife's" think does it? Good luck.
In the long run you and your hubby will pay at least 1/2 of any unpaid medical expenses such as braces. I would rather pay $190.00 rather then $2500.00. You married him and the kids came as the bonus. If I hadn't put my stepdaughter on my insurance we would have paid 1/2 of $15,000 in one year alone because of 2 surgeries.
We'll when you married him you knew he had 3 kids, you are there step-mother, and your bills are your husbands and vis versa. You have to give a little to get a little. I would way out the monthly premium verses the cost of braces for his kids. Would it be cheaper to put that in a savings account and earn interest till the kids are ready for braces or to just pay the premium. Best of Luck
It is his responsibility. However, I can understand why he's doing it so as to get his kid's teeth fixed which would be impossible as things stand now.
How about you put his kids on your health plan and he pays the $190/month back to you. If he fails to keep his end of the bargain you can always delete them from your health plan in the future.
It is your problem. You put yourself into this mess and now you have to deal with it. You decide what you want. If you decide not to pay then you could hurt your marriage and add more stress to this bad situation. You did not just marry him, but you married his family and baggage.
Your husband's bills are your bills. When he spends money it takes away from the money that you will have. Any way you can decrease your joint bills is great. The one problem I have is the court order and I'd look into how swiftly that could be changed should you get a divorce or separate. I would also make sure that your husband can perhaps sign a document that he's paying the premium on that insurance.
Consider it this way: You are not taking care of his children... you are assisting him in easing the burden of a responsibility that he has no choice but to take care of. Giving him peace of mind that the burden is less (and of course covering your bases and protecting YOURSELF) is one less stressor on his heart and your joint wallets.
SUMMARY: you guys are a TEAM.. don't stand on principle.. legally cover your own hide and then do what you can to help him out.
I do not know how it works where you live but here if you are married and you are the step parent you are held responsible for the children as well. However it is not fair for you to have to pay for the medical insurance. Sounds like to me it needs to go back to court. This man clearly will have no real future if the ex wants all the financial responsibility shifted on the two of you. Either way do nothing about the medical tell your husband it needs to go back to court and if he gets fustrated with you it may come down to the point is it really worth staying with a man who wants you to take over his and his ex responsibility? I wish you luck stay strong and listen to your inner voice.
Well the way i see it is that you married the guy . He can pay 15000 bucks out of his pocket that means no vacation money or new car or what ever for the 2 of you . Your not the person for that guy you need to move on to a person without kids so you can keep your precious money . Its just not going to work for the 2 of you .Doom is in the air.
You`re right! You do not have any obligation to provide for HIS children. They will have to work it out between the two of them. Don`t let him take advantage of you just because your married.
What you should do is add them and make him pay and thats all I can say. If he doesnt, then take them off and be ready to fill out the divorce papers. Because you are going to start having a rocky marriage. If you don't want a divorce then continue to pay for the insurance.
dont do it he has to pay for his own kids. try and talk to his ex about it.
its sad to say , but when you married him and knew he has children , you know that anything can happen , he is just try ing to do the best for the kids but he should be paying you for the insurance , dont worry about it because it will only cause alot of friction between you and your husband and you dont want that to happen .
Well, I assume he either doesn’t have insurance to add them to, or your insurance is cheaper.

But at any rate, don’t you really end up paying anyway no matter who “has’ the insurance policy? In a roundabout way you do, because every dollar that he spends for his kids (and he SHOULD support them, and I’m assuming you knew he had that obligation before you married him), is one less dollar to contribute to the household expenses, put into your saving account, etc.

By the way, when my kids got braces, the dental insurance only paid about 30% of the bill, so if that’s the ONLY reason he’s getting it, it might not be beneficial, because he may end up paying more for the premiums than what they pay for the bill.
his child support payment already probably has insurance figured in along with standard out of pocket co-pays .It should lower his child support payment made to his ex by at least half or more of the cost of the insurance.
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