Where do i go from here? I need some advice!?
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Hi Jordand,
I' m sorry to hear of your situation. I too am a recovered depressive. I'm also a psychologist. So having depression does not mean you can't work or can't study. Before I share some of my experience with depression, I'll say that feeling overwhelmed/hopeless has nothing really to do with you, it's part of the illness your facing. So don't blame yourself. If your getting tired of your situation and unable or unwilling to stay in school or keep a job, you can be assured that there are thousands if not millions of Americans who've experienced so called 'clinical' depression or symptoms of major depression at least once in their life time and many of these live or have to cope with both acute (intense/sharp) &/or chronic (long-term) bouts of depression. Everybody may not have all the same symptoms but being unmotivated or easily fed-up with life, relationships, school, work etc. are classic symptoms. So don't criticise yourself for your challenges. Life for everyone is a challenge. But it's how you look at things that makes the difference. So whether you feel positive or negative will influence directly how you behave, and success in anything is about doing and making the best choices for yourself over and over again to the best of your ability.
This I suspect you're finding very difficult to do at the moment. Without experiencing first hand what depression feels like most people are able to empathize (share your burden) but they in virtually all cases can't 'relate' to what your feeling. The fact that you got it together to share your situation on-line is brave and a positive step in the right direction. That you are crying out for help is obvious. That you need help, is also obvious. And I believe you know from medical advice what that help may be, both medication and 'talk' therapy. If the meds you've tried didn't help some one suggested trying some other drug 'not marijuana'. If therapy did not hold your interest try someone else. I suggest you find an experienced and sincere psychiatrist or psycologist who you can feel somewhat or completely comfortable with sharing your struggles through your illness. Christian psycholgists or psychiatrists not simply trained therapists (although they can help) are recommended. I hope however that your parents or yourself have health insurance as visits to the doctor + medication is going to cost over time. Believe me the medications today are fabulous, and they work. However medicine is a science but not an exact science so you will have to try very likely more than one anti-depressant before you find one you feel good with. Most of the newer types have virtually no side-effects so don't worry. At least try not to ! Also ask you doctor about 'cognitive' therapy. Dr. David Burns has written a famous book called 'Feeling Good' which is a must read even if you don't like reading. Try to get it. 'Barnes and Noble' carry it. Any major bookstore should have or get it for you. It will help correct any irrational thought patterns you have with practise. Over time you'll be much more postive about your situation and realistic about your options.
I struggled with depression for many years almost 9 before being diagnosed. And then for another 5 years after beginning drug treatement and therapy. Happily I have been depression free for the last 10 years am now married and looking forward to doing my Phd. I teach psychology and other subjects at University level and counsel persons who need my help even students. I know things right now don't seem pretty and feel lousy if your experiencing fluctuating mood swings but talk to your doctor.
With the state of progress in this field today your mood swings can be controlled and you can learn how to keep on top of them but you do require drug therapy. There isn't time enough to go into why you developed these mood swings/ depression ? and you didn't say what type of depression you have although I suspect that it's major depression with possibly mania (elation). There is no shame in having a medical illness, last I checked only children like to be sick! So keep your chin up as best you can and I hope you have an understanding family and friends. Take it easy on yourself and try not to be a worry wart. It's gonna take some practice but your future looks good, your only just sixteen you have your whole life ahead, God's willing. Pray also, there is a GOD in heaven and he does hear and help. Never give up, despite what anyone says, even your doctor you will get better. You know in my 14+ years on medication
I have almost never missed taking my meds, although I did miss a couple of appointments. It probably took me so long to recover even on medication because my illness began after a broken relationship as a teenager and was not diagnosed for some time later as mentioned. Today I no longer see my psychiatrist but call him up from time to time and still get medical advice. And I remain on medication. I may be addicted to at least 1 or the 4 med's I take but that doesn't bother me a bit. I feel great and function normally. The best part is that I feel good and with GOD's constant help, in control of my life.
Even bipolar disorder/disease can be cured with effective treatment. Believe me, I almost or did suffer a nervous breakdown, had anxiety, depression and psychotic thoughts my doctor says 'resembled' schizophrenia. And I have been cured of all these disorders and their symptoms so what I have told you has worked well for me. I do know of persons who for one reason or another have stopped their meds and suffered through what we would normally call 'withdrawl' symptoms, seemingly unscathed/unharmed. This is not for everybody and makes very good sense to be done while in the care of a doctor. Sometimes your doctor may not agree with all your desires but trust me they if they are experienced in dealing with mental disorders/illness generally have the right ideas. So don't be afraid. You may find it difficult to open up, but that takes time. So go easy on yourself. I still have challenges in life, mainly getting up early in the morning consistently !
So I'm praying for you and I know whether short time or long you will be cured if you stick with it. Get all the support you can, you're gonna need it to get to a place where you are mature enough and well enough to take back control of your life and make the right decisions. Talk through what your feeling with your parents if you can, maby their split has affected you emotionally, you may need to deal with that etc.
In terms of work and school you may have to take a lighter load for now until you become stronger emotionally and physically. I had to stop working while I was in college and go to school part-time. Try to work out with your parent(s) or a professional (therapist) your best option.
Finally, whether you stay with dad or mom may depend on several things, again talk things out and I mean everything if you can at your own pace. Hope that helps.
So good luck and God's blessing.
Love,
Barry H
YOU decided to go off your meds? What you describe is exactly the warped thinking the meds try to control in the first place!
Summer is coming soon- maybe you can find another job until then. Try to go back to school somewhere else in the fall, maybe close to your mom- just make sure you graduate high school, then finding jobs should be easier later.
my advice to you is to go back to school. i am also 16 and school can be tuff at times and so can life but you cant giveup on everything that seems stressful or hard. school is the best answer for you right now. if you even want to do or be anything a few years from now..college is also something you may want to consider. and about your depression.just try looking at the bright side of things and pray alot to god to help you through the bad times...he answers prayers.
OK, you need to grab yourself by the boot straps and stop feeling sorry for yourself. You are only going to get out of life what you put into it. I would suggest getting your butt back in school unless you want to spend the rest of your life working at a fast food restaurant. They key is to stop thinking negative thoughts. Concentrate on the positive things in your life. Volunteer at a hospital or nursing home if you want a quick lesson on how ugly life can really be and how lucky you are and how good you have it.
You're a dropout?
AND homeless?
So, princess, how'd you get online?
It's ******* retarded to quit a prescription medicine of your own accord.. contact your doctor to switch or get a new dosage but don't just outright quit.
It's already April, just hold out--summer isn't far off at all.
And I suggest that you quit whining and try to DO something.
Call your doc up and ask for a reevaluation for a different drug.
But do something.
Then, get offline and go back to school.
You sound like a person that has been through a lot and I'm sorry but you need to get back in school quick if you ever in your life want to own anything much less a car! You should once getting back in school and start working again you need to calm down and not be mad so much. You should also reach for the best in life and create goals for yourself such as getting that dream car or that dream job but we all got to start somewhere and you better start before it's to late. You also need to consider moving back to your moms house and having a fresh start there.
P.S. if your doctor tells you to take your pills then take them.
I have been there...I was kicked out of school when I was 14...went to training school a couple of times, got my GED, went to college, graduated college went to prison, got out of prison and now I'm the internet manager at a major car dealership.I't can be done man...never give up no matter how many times you fall...life's a ***** sometimes...I've had more than my share of misfortune but I've never let that determine my fate...today I am two years clean from drugs/alcohol, I have a great job, beautiful girlfriend, car that is paid for, etc...mostly...I am happy today and I don't feel like the light at the end of the tunnel is a train. Good luck to you man...remember...you aren't promised tomorow, yesterday is gone.it's the things you to TODAY that make yesterdays poignant memories and tomorrows full of hope...keep your head up
I have bipolar disorder. I am 31. I was diagnosed when I was 14. I went through some rough times too. I barely made it through high school. And was in and out of the hospital. I was put on Prozac at age 14 and then various other medications while trying to go through puberty. I found a great therapist. One I could trust that was the first step. As well as a good psychiatrist to adjust my medications. I have a loving family, and that helps too. Stay strong, and find a support person. Start slow, and build trust. That's important.
Hey Baby Girl,
I must disagree with a few people medication is not always the best bet and sweetheart it is your choice to go off them if you choose, it is your body and if it didn't feel right then it wasn't right. Ignore those comments.
I do agree that you should try to think positive, I know it can be hard, I have a few mental issues myself :) I wish there were a way I could help you other than just DON'T GIVE UP. If you just hang in it will all work out. Do you have any type of faith? Whatever kind. . . .God? Buddha? anything? If not find something.
If there is a way you can contact me, without me putting my info out there, please do, I'd love to be able to just be an ear if nothing else.
Hang in there sweetie.
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