My 16 y/o brother refuses to go to school. My mom is dead and dad could care less, I NEED ADVICE!! HELP!?
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Without your father's help to pressure him into a psych evaluation, the best you can do is make sure your own school work doesn't suffer. Your brother may just stop this behavior by himself if he's just allowed to make up his own mind. Give him some space.
Tell your bro that not going to school at 16 is a very bad idea when you frop out of highschool it is very hard to get back into it.
sounds like your brother is rebelling. it may be from the loss of his mom. but, it's up to him to shape up. someone, maybe you, has to tell him to GROW UP, he is acting like a baby and if he ever wants to amount to anything he better start shaping up. let him know that mom would never want to see her son do what he is doing to himself. it certainly would disappoint her and even make her more hurt if she thought he was doing this because she wasn't there to be the mother figure in the family. that she would like to be at rest knowing that her family is being what she would want them to be if she was still here on earth. so let her be at peace and do what you should be doing to make her proud. but, the sad bottom line, is your brother has to feel this to make his life work for him. i hope he wakes up and starts applying himself.
Condolences on your loss. As far as your brother goes, he probably resents the loss of a parent. While understandable he needs to understand that his mother would want him to continue on, get a good education and a good career. Otherwise he is going to end up sweeping parking lots at McDonald's for the rest of his life. If he is lucky. But I am sure he won't listen to you. 16 year olds are like that. Hard headed and bullet proof.
It sounds like your brother was really hurt when he lost his mother. This just might be the way he's handling it by rebelling against whatever he's being told to do. Was he close to your mother? Too, he still no doubt is grieving & this is the way he's handeling it. Just too bad he can't get professional help w/this. That's what I feel he needs for several reasons. But it looks like that's not going to happen. For some reason I still feel it has something to do w/loosing his mother. After just loosing my beautiful 14 yr. old granddaughter suddenly in a car accident just 9 mons. ago, the whole family is devistated, we are all reacting in our own different ways. Did he get any kind of grief counselling of any kind? Has your family adjusted "together" about that? Would it help if he knew it would please his mother for him to do rite w/his schooling & maybe do it as a memorial to her memory? There has to be a way to get him some kind of help. Can't you appeal to your father in some way? I certainly wish you the best, you have an awful lot on you. But you can't take it personally if you can't do anything about it. Please don't make yourself sick over it. We only have control over ourselves.
Bless you. Your mom died less than 6 months ago and the whole family is grieving, which is perfectly natural. You have stepped up to the plate to try to make life go on, do what has to be done. You have gone from being sister to mother. I applaud you. But your brother wants his mom.
Forget school for the moment. I suspect he needs help with his grieving. Do you belong to a church? Does he have a buddy with a down-to-earth mom? Did he have a teacher he really liked? Do you have a common-sense,patient uncle? He needs an adult who can help him understand that there are no answers for why someone dies, who commisserates with how confused and sad he feels. Call the local hospice - yes, no joke - they are trained in treating grief. I don't know if they can help, but I would give it a try.
Once your brother starts dealing with his grief, hopefully, he will find comfort in following what his mom would have wanted for him - to graduate from high school.
Would I be wrong in guessing that you cried yourself to sleep many nights, but your brother didn't. He has to get the grief out. Pound a pillow, Run 5 miles, volunteer if he doesn't cry.
And remember your dad probably is having trouble with his grief. You are doing the exact right thing for you. You are getting on with life and doing what your mom would want you to do.
Good luck to you and to your family.
Wow! This must be so hard for you. Do you have any other family members that he looks up to or holds dear that would be able to talk to him? If not, you do have some options.
When my brother (who is now 18) was 16 he started cutting school alot. My mother and I where consently in and out of court paying fee's. I talked to him (I'm 11yrs older), my mother, his father, the whole family and he kept cutting school.
I couldn't take seeing my mother upset all the time so we went to the school and signed him out.
The point is, there are other programs he can do in order to graduate. Not just night school to get his GED.
My brother enrolled in a program called Kast Prep. I believe there could be similar ones in your area. Especialy if your in an urban area. Regardless, he went to school Mon - Thurs from 3-6pm. He garduated at 18 with a High School Diploma and he's actually thinking of becoming a teacher.
This is coming from a kid with no dreams, had no clue of what he was going to do with the rest of his life. He was depressed for years after our mother and his father got divorced. He rebeled for years. He was very difficult from when he was 8yrs to about 17yrs old.
Basically, be there for him, near give up talking to him. He needs you more now then ever, even if you don't know it yet. Give him some tough love, he is alittle older now he understands. Yet it is a delicate situation. If he doesn't want to seek counseling then see if he'll talk to you. It's not going to be easy so it wouldn't be a bad idea if you went for counseling even if you don't feel you need it. It may help you in oder to help your brother. Good luck and I'll keep you in my thoughts.
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