We always fight over the same things....??advice, please?
Question:
my husband and I have had a long and hard relationship. He is like the female in the relationship-always griping about everything and I pretty much just sit back and roll with everything. Well, everytime he has a horrible day at work then the world is coming to an end. He comes home all pissed off and then he questions everything-from how i don't do anything because I am a stay at home mom (9months pregnant and due in 1 week) to our relationship. He thinks I have everything "made" because I stay at home, I do online college and I get everything handed to me. How is this going to change? What do I have to say to make him happy? It just feels like every other week he is questioning EVERYTHING. I drop to my knees and do EVERYTHING for him. He doesn't have to do a dang thing but work. When he gets home he does nothing because I don't ever ask him to do anything...uhhhh! What do I do? oh, and he's on his way home right now pissed off cuz his truck is messing up! ??
Answer:
FYI once you have that baby that waiting on him hand and foot thing is gonna stop real quick. I have heard that men get jealous of the attention that the pregnant mother/new baby gets. Question did he act like this before? If so why on earth are you even this deep in this relationship in the 1st place!
first off just please be patient with him when he gets home tonight. ok let him grip if he wants, u don't have to give him any feedback. i think he just want to let out steam and it's you that has to be the one to hear it probably cause you're someone important to him. you guys cant be selfish and look into finding faith with god. that will definitly help!
Tell him to get over himself or you two will have to take a seperation break from each other.If you are pregnant with his child, that should be enough.YOu have enough to do and enough to worry about without him adding anything on.Talk to him first.Give him the chance to redeem himself.Let him know the fighting is killing you emotionally and that you just cant handle that and being in a relationship with him.If all else fails, give him a taste of what it will be like without you.Stay with a family member or friend to give him time to chill.
try to talk to him about softly and listen don't ever bother him and swear to him that you love him.trust me he will change
YOU ALL JUST NEED TO STOP IT. GROW UP - IF HE CAN'T HANDLE HIS DECISIONS IN LIFE THEN CHANGE IT.
Make his homecoming nice ever night. Maybe have dinner almost ready or at least a clean house. Cater to him just a little, you'd be amazed how well it will work. Little things after a hard day's work.
Hey, at one time I was a house husband, and I agree it ain't easy. But sadly, the person earning the pay check always thinks it is. I would at first just let him vent his anger, then do what my wife does ask him why is griping about it and not doing anything about it to change it, remind him if you both work together, to change it, that is if he wants a change, you can do anything. If he doesn't want a change then he is just venting.
My first question is are you having financial strains? Does he feel like he is making enough money to support a wife that does not work, a new baby, and maybe a mortgage. Does he feel like his job is not enough to secure a good future for his family? If this is the case, then he needs assurance that whatever the financial situation is, he is a good man. He needs to understand and hear it from you, that you and your son/daughter will be alright. Sounds like he is afraid of what every man in his situation is afraid of--being a failure to his familiy. If I'm way off track then disregard.
i can't say that i have the same exact problem as you do but i think that they are very similar ((not married or pregnant but in a relationship almost the same)) what i did to get him off my back when he came home was pretty much listen to him. if he picks a fight with you then just let him go off. let him scream and yell and say whatever he wants to. as long as he isn't hitting you or getting violent things should be OK. give him time to cool off before trying to talk to him. make him relax before trying to talk to him. if he comes home in an obviously bad mood don't ask about his day at work don't ask why he is upset just try to make him happy any way you can. but don't over do it. don't baby him. well i think that that is all the advice i can give you. good luck!
Quit fighting decide to be non-hostile...if you doing on line schooling that means that your most likely to be going back to work outside the home... remember all things change in time. He thinks you have everything "made" because you stay at home and maybe he wishes he could stay at home. Sounds like a lot of anger. also i wonder about your and his age sound like me in my early 20's
is this your firs child? men get financially worried when they are going to have a child. I know its hard but when he comes home you should try and have a meal for him and maybe have the house clean, and when he gets a day off have him help you do the cleaning around the house so he can see the hard work it is. Men sometimes don't realize that staying at home is work also.
Be honest with your self is he a good man, is this a good relationship? only you know .
I've been where you are before love and it's going to take serious action on your part, because you love him. If ultimately you seek a solution then I highly recommend couples counseling and anger manangement. Trust me from personal experience, your children will have a far better life this way. As well as you and the hubby. Mine was quite against it to begin with, but when he realized he risked losing the children and I, things were different. Just remember that you haven't tried everything...until you've tried everything.
yea yea tell me about it. your the one always bitcHing about this and that. this is mine, i paid for this and that. look at your self.
sounds like my relationship, i ***** alot at my wife, he needs to realize that being a stay at home mom is alot tougher than a job, at least you can go home from a job , i've recently done alot of growing, perhaps you guys need to see a counselor and he needs to do a bit of growing like i did
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