DO u think this is a book u would read?
Question:
Prolouge
3 million years in the future humans found a new solar system they call Oregon. They also found 1 liveable planet they named DEvulsion. Devulsion is split in to 4 parts of land:Eton, Leez,Hoct, and Xeroy. In between is Hot lava. Over the years, There has been war. the biggest war in history. Xeroy and Eton. Xeroy like in every war is the bad guy fighting for power. Eton is defending the government. When it looks like Eton is about to win, A BOunty Hunter and an Electric Dam change everything.
would u read that?
Answer:
No, it sounds too bland and I really don't understand the story. Try cleaning it up and using more words. Be discriptive, make us feel the ground as it shakes from mortar fire, help us see the battle for the heavens, and give us a picture of what the bounty hunter did.
Nope sounds boring!!!!!
Unfortunately, there are many grammatical and spelling errors including poorly used capitalization. I realize that these things are not of significant consequence and can be fixed but think of it this way . . .
If I offer you a wonderful meail but cover it in dirt and then offer you on another plate a sandwich that is not as nutritious but not dirty . . . which would you want to eat?
Clean up your presentation (your writing) and you may find more people who are hungry to read more.
nope, i'm more into romance, drama and supense.
Sorry, no. It is not written in a way that grabs attention and it is rife with errors. It must be more descriptive as well.
Yes, I would. But I would like it if the prologue was a bit longer, with more descriptive words.
I'm sorry I read that much
Um, no.
Sorry.
The *prologue* needs to have a bit more punch. It is kind of boring and would not really draw me into wanting to read the story.
It seems like a good story, but as far as grammar and sentence structure and spelling, it needs a lot of work. Use more descriptive language. Try and make it more complex. It sounds like a good read though.
Try reading some science fiction to get a feel of what the story should be like and then have someone edit it for the story's content and gramatics.
Best of luck.
You need a longer Prologue. and when you talk about things that don't exist you have to describe it so the ready would know how he can imagine it in his head.
I would read it, if it was interesting and I do find myself asking what did those villains do? but discribe the character more so it'll be catching.
Good Luck
i think it sounds great. r u writing it or is it already out there? but anywho i would read it. the only parts that r missing like the characters and who and how the people found the place?
Nope, too much to remember, I'd have to keep referring back to the last sentence to keep track of which part of land did what to whom. I don't like to re-read.
yup. Sounds interesting...
nope
Might end up being a good plot line, but there are too many novels like this. No, not so good of a writer
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