Asian Parents? Your thoughts please.?
Question:
I always dreamed of working in Finance and Investment Banking. My parents however, wanted me to work in the Pharmaceutical/medical field. I don't really like science or my job. Now I have a mortgage and bills to pay so I can't change my career. I hate it and now stuck with a career I didn't want.
In college, my parents didn't want me to join a fraternity and enjoy college. All they cared about was getting a degree. So much for college fun. Didn't really get to enjoy the best years of my life more.
I also didn't get to go to the college of my choice. My parents wanted me to go to a really boring school that I hated. They threatened not to support me in school unless I went to the school of their choice. I struggled academically but was stressed out too much.
I guess my parents got what they wanted but I didn't. Do you have a similar experience?
Answer:
Hi friend,
I understand what you're going through..But Im a parent of 4 kids also..Sometimes because the parents are too concerned with the future welfare of their child, they forgot that d kid has a mind of his/her own as well..They never even bother to check if their kid is happy with what they're doing. Im saying "they" because i have heard enough stories of how parents picked the course for the kids, picked the careers, or even picked their lifetime partners...You're correct, that's very "asian" indeed..and guess what Im asian too, im chinese but ive made a resolve when the time comes for my children to choose...yes i will let them "choose" their course or career..i will give them the inputs but the decision I'll leave to them. Then will support them unconditionally whether it turned out to be right or wrong choice. Parents always have best interest for their kids, but always they're looking at the superficial results like money, prosperity, great careers..Rarely do we see parents "esp the old asians" (japanese,koreans,chinese) even asking about the child's happiness. Let me send u one of a short quote i wrote:
"Lots of times, parents are too focused to mold their kids to be good (as in manners, obedience, good grades & all), grooming them to be one day financially successful that they almost always forget their (the kids) own happiness. We never really asked WHAT IS IT THEY WANT, assuming what we want for them is what they want. Of course it’s fine to mold them to be good but BETTER TEACH THEM TO BE HAPPY 1ST COZ WHEN THEY ARE HAPPY AUTOMATICALLY THEY’LL BE GOOD WITH WHAT THEY ARE DOING & WHAT THEY WILL DO".
You should have minored in what you loved when you were in college. But that time is over now. Now you are an adult with a mortgage. Go back to school and go into financing. You're not dead yet. Its not too late to get what you want. You should have fought for it sooner.
You'er lucky you still have your parents' mine died when I was away to college. At least you've fulfilled your wishes of your parents... I have kids that have never met their granparents.
I don't see why you can't take a night class now and fulfill that dream of yours.
I have a full time job, a family with three kids and teach class 2 nights a week... still have plenty of time for the family. My wife is a stay home mom, together we've finished paying off one mortgage and currently working off paying off our second home. Piece of cake... Where we differ is, I contribute my happiness to my asian parents. whom I owe to my constitution of hard work, good study habbits and loving family values. We also differ in that they didn't decide on what my college major was.
When I was a boy, my dad owned his own grocery store... he worked hard his whole life to raise his family... he put all three of his kids through college... I really appreciate what he did for us. He Immigrated from China and didn't have an education, and in his mind he believed that if his kids had one... they would not have to labor as hard as he had too, when raising families of their own.
I hear your concern, and understand how you feel. However, I want to let yo know that you are not a prisoner of your situation. If your desire is working in the Banking and Financing industry their are plenty of ways to achieve your dreams even in your situation. If you don't know how to achieve your dreams, then feel free to email me at emmanuelfleming@yahoo.com, and I will be more then happy to help you.
I wish you much success
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